I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
