I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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