i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
