Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
