Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm having to shit out rocks
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