I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
