matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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