I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
