we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
