so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
