Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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