his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
