Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
