my mouth tastes like poor choices
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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