He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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