my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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