dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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