You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
