Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I smell stomach acid.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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