smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
