It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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