i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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