Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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