The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
