We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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