Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
