My Higher Power is John Stamos
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
