if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
