This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this boner is exhausting
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
