To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
