today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
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...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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