I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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