so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
