Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
