dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
