I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My vagina is officially offended.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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