i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
