I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
third nipple confirmed
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
