the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
