sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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