Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
