at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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