I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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