i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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