At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
