If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
