You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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