U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
