I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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