Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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