remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
