Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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