she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
