This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize