Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
