Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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