You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
