You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize