period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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