Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
