he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she told me i tasted like america
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
