Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
