He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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