North Korea, Best Korea!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
