I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize