I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
being pregnant is like rehab
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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