Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
