You're so nebulous sometimes
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
