It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize